Here are 11 scientifically proven ways to increase your chances of finding the perfect partner. (Yes, academics actually get paid to research interpersonal attraction, as psychologists rather drearily dub this thing called love.) These findings dispel many clichès beloved of romantic fiction - from opposites attracting to absence making the heart grow fonder - while confirming others.
1. Like Seeks Like
Look for someone as much like you as possible, because chances are, he or she is looking for you too. We prefer mates with similar backgrounds, interests, values and beliefs because they validate our own. We even gravitate towards people who look like us. Eminent scientist Sir Francis Galton drew attention to this phenomenon a century ago, and since then it has been confirmed by numerous studies on the resemblances between spouses.
2. Declare Your Desire
Ditch the strong and silent act because a major turn-on, according to social psychologist Dr Arthur Aron, is the simple realisation that someone fancies you. It makes you feel good about yourself, which, in turn, overflows into feeling good about them. We warm to those who flatter and are nice to us, which is why the stereotypical Byronic hero trading barbs with his love interest (until near the end when they eventually melt into one another’s arms) is a romantic clichè that does not bear close examination.
3. The Eyes Have It
On one point, however, the bodice rippers are right there can be such a thing as love at first sight. It’s been shown that the longer a pair of prospective partners lock eyes upon meeting, the more they like what they see. It helps if you have dilated pupils because these are the single most attractive physical attribute, according to research conducted by the late Eckhard Hess, who was a professor at the University of Chicago’s psychology department. He found that subjects shown two pictures of a member of the opposite sex - identical save for pupil size - were twice as likely to pick the larger-pupils photo as the more attractive, even when they could spot the difference. Enlarged pupils signal intense arousal.
4. Body Language
Run out of sweet nothings to say? Fall back on body language, a form of non-verbal communication understood by both sexes. The most obvious - and effective overture is simply staring at the prospective partner and smiling; then there are “preening” gestures, such as playing with your hair.
According to Allan Pease, author of The Definitive Guide to Body Language, what really turns men on is female “submission” gestures, which include exposing vulnerable areas such as the wrists or neck, as well as the leg twine (the manoeuvre at which Princess Diana, that premier flirt, excelled: it involves crossing the legs and hooking the upper leg’s foot behind the lover leg’s ankle.)
Men typically make themselves look more dominant by taking up space and engaging in “crotch display” - thumbs hooked in pockets, fingers “pointing” at the genitals (worked for Michael Jackson… for a while, anyway).
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