DON’T PANIC!

Pity the kids?  Think of the poor parents. The run-up exams is just as stressful for them. It’s often the first time their child has been judged by the world, and they feel judged, too: those tough decisions about schools are put to the test. That - and realising the results are way beyond their control - is enough to make anyone panic.

BRIBERY

It’s easy to feel that other parents are providing the right blend of encouragement and colourful revision charts. The reality is that they’re just as likely to be reduced to bribery - offering cash for results.

COACHING

Hands-on tuition isn’t recommended. Some children appreciate the attention, but locking horns over textbooks can be counterproductive. A friend of mine, coached her son in English every night for six months, only to find that he went from a grade D to an E.

Terri Apter, a social psychologist at Cambridge University and the author of The Myth of Maturity, says, “If you want to coach, focus on the task in hand and be responsive: your teenager will tell you whether it’s useful or making him or her anxious or impatient.”

A WATCHFUL EYE

The problem for working parents is that they can’t be sure how much work is actually being done. Even if you’re home-based, it’s hard to know what goes behind closed doors and, more importantly, whether the revision is productive.

Apter says that parents shouldn’t be afraid to ask their children about the work they’ve covered during the day: “If a child isn’t doing enough it’s virtually impossible not to nag, but nagging can be structured. Work out a reasonable amount of revision time and designate a specific time of day for it. And if for some reason the time has to be changed, then the work also has to be reallocated. “Of course, that is often easier said than done.

HOW TO HELP

If the mention of revision increases tension, there are unobtrusive ways to offer help - such as delivering regular snacks, offering to test, or generally hovering, ready to explain things or to discuss problems.

According to Apter, that’s just as important with undergraduate offspring. She says, “Independent though they are in both practical and intellectual terms, university students still want emotional support, to know that their parents respect their efforts and that they’ll be forgiving if they mess up.”

Above all, Apter insists, it’s vital that all parents keep a sense of perspective about exams: “Remember, if your child doesn’t do well, it’s not like a horrible illness or injury. There are many more chances.”

Credits to: Celia Dodd 

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Poisoneyes: It’s been a long time I didn’t take any chances in checking through my Emotional Intelligence level. Recently I was told by one of my professor who knew about my EQ (Emotional Quotient) & IQ (Intelligence Quotient) range. Well, I wasn’t expecting much about it because I knew that my IQ range wasn’t that fantastic after all. So, to my astonishment this professor by the name of Prof. Dr. Sir Norhisham Wahab told me about the things I love to do. Basically whatever he’ve been telling me all this while was all true. I love drawings, designing, writing, reading and all many stuff which uses the right brain. That’s me anyway. So, I was shocked when Prof. Dr. Sir Norhisam knew about my hobby and interest. Wow! This is amazing!! And guess what? He even said that my most suitable colour for myself is Pink! Oh dear… Pink has been my most detest colours among all. I’m not sure why? But that’s the fact. He even told me to use a lot of Pink rather than Black (this is my favourite colour, how can he say that…)

But then, after explaining about the meaning of each colour, I started to realise something which is truthful. Pink helps to control my emotional well being. He even said that I used to be so emotional and started to listen to all kinds of emotional song. This is true. Very true indeed. So, I would like to share with you the experience being tested in knowing about my EQ (Emotional Quotient range). From what I knew, people always keep saying about having an high IQ level will help you succeed in whatever you do. But that’s not true!! That was an old story ok. We’ve been brainwash by all kind of wrong information. No wonder I keep on seeing people with high IQ level but missing most of their EQ range.

You should know what does the expert says about it. Open your eyes wider this time and don’t be too arrogant saying that having a high level of IQ, you’re smarter than anyone does.

Julie B. Thibodeaux, M.C.P. and D. Stephenson Bond, L.M.H.C says: Is your intellectual intelligence the greatest predictor of what you�ll accomplish in life?

We have been conditioned to believe that IQ is the best measure of human potential. In the past 10 years, however, researchers have found that this isn’t necessarily the case — that in actuality, your emotional intelligence quotient (EQ) might be a greater predictor of success.

What is emotional intelligence? In the early 1990s, Dr. John Mayer, Ph.D., and Dr. Peter Salovey, Ph.D., introduced the term “emotional intelligence” in the Journal of Personality Assessment. They used this term to describe a person’s ability to understand his or her own emotions and the emotions of others and to act appropriately based on this understanding. Then in 1995, psychologist Daniel Goleman popularized this term with his book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Read the rest of this entry »

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Are good manners dead? We checked in 35 cities around the globe - and got some surprising answers.

It’s Lunch Time in Mexico City, and a young man follows a slim girl wearing dark glasses into a restaurant. Without looking behind her, she lets the heavy glass door swing closed, almost smashing him in the face. In a stationery shop in Seoul, meanwhile, a female customer wants to buy a disposable pen. It’s a minor purchase, but 56 year old store owner Jang Byung-eun takes the time to talk her through a variety of different models. When she makes her purchase, he says a friendly “Thank you.”

Rain and wind are lashing the Nolendorfplatz, central Berlin, as estate agent Nicole Hatzijordanou, 34, struggles through the morning rush-hour crowds, her broken right arm in plaster after she slipped on ice. A head of her, a young woman drops a yellow folder, scattering papers everywhere. Dozens of commuters walk on by, but Nicole rushes over and picks up the sodden documents, gently shaking the water off each one. When thanked, she jokes, “Well, I still have one good arm!”

Our Three Tests

The young man risking a broken nose, the customer in South Korea and the woman with the unwieldy documents were no ordinary members of the public. Each was a Reader’s Digest researcher taking part in a unique test to see how polite people are around the world.

From Thailand to Finland, from Buenos Aires to London, people worry that courtesy is fast becoming a thing of the past. Service in shops has become surly, they say, youngsters have lost respect for their elders. Lynne Truss, in her international bestseller Talk to the Hand, claims that we live in “an age of lazy moral relativism combined with aggressive social insolence” where common courtesies are “practically extinct.”

But is such pessimism justified? We sent undercover reporters - half of them men, half women - from Reader’s Digest editions in 35 countries to assess the citizens of their most populous city. In each location we conducted three tests:

• We walked into public buildings 20 times behind people to see if they would hold the door open for us.
• We bought small items from 20 shops and recorded whether the sales assistants said “Thank you.”
• We dropped a folder full of papers in 20 busy locations to see if anyone would help pick them up.

To let us compare cities, we awarded one point for each positive outcome and nothing for a negative one, giving each city a maximum score of 60. We did not attempt a strict scientific survey; it was the world’s biggest real-life test of common courtesy, with more than 2000 separate tests of actual behaviour. Here’s what we dicovered. Read the rest of this entry »

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