IMAGINE two people of equal skill applying for a job. Would you pick the person who is less confident? Ever? Quite simply, a positive sense of self can transform your life.

Rosabeth Moss Kanter, author of the bestselling book Confidence: How Winning Streaks and Losing Streaks Begin and End, has honed the definition down to its essence: “Confidence is the expectation of a positive outcome,” says Kanter. A professor at Harvard Business School, Kanter helps translate textbook concepts about success and attitude into practical results. “The fact is,” she says, “confidence makes you willing to try harder and attracts the kind of support from others that makes ‘winning’ possible.”

In marriage, it makes you more capable of hearing the feelings and criticisms your partner really needs you to hear. In the business world, confidence bridges the chasm between the person who’ll ask for and receive a rise and the employee who accepts the status quo; between the salesperson who gets discouraged by rejection and stops cold-calling and the one who forges ahead and scores the mega sale.

If, like most people, your confidence could use a boost, here are strategies on how to develop it quickly - and keep it working for you the rest of your life.

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You risk the relationship by saying no,
but you are taking a big risk by saying yes

Lend MONEY to a friend, and you’re liable to lose both. But when someone close hits you up for a loan, it can be tough to say no. The first consideration, say financial experts, is whether you can afford it. If you can’t afford to give the money away, you can’t afford to lend it. Next, get it in writing. For big amounts, a repayment schedule helps to legitimise the loan. “It protects the lender, and can make the recipient more comfortable, so they don’t see the loan as charity,” says Howard Levine, a charactered accountant. Should you charge interest? It’s not mandatory, and may have tax implications. But if your money would be earning 5% on a term deposit, charge the same 5%. Or structure it as a loan but forgo the interest on repayment. And if a pal defaults?

For lenders, it’s not just the amount that can cause a rift, but the feeling that you’re being taken advantage of.

Levine advises borrowers not to avoid the topic: “Pay back what you can, even if it’s just a bit. If you can’t pay it back, be up-front. Don’t just ignore it.”

Quick Note:

“I’m very motivated by money. The only thing that would make me happier is more money.”

Simon Cowell

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On the Internet, as in life, men and women have different motivations for doing what they do. According to a recent report from Pew Internet and American Life, women view the Internet as a place to extend, support, and nurture relationships and communities.

Do Different Genders Use The Web Differently
Men tend to see it as an office, a library, or a playground–screw the community, this is about function not family.

The report found that women are more enthusiastic communicators, using email in a more robust way. Not only sending and receiving more email than men, women are more likely to write to family and friends about a variety of topics, sharing news, joys and worries, planning events, and forwarding jokes and stories.

While both sexes equally appreciate the efficiency and convenience of email, women are more likely than men to value the medium for its positive effects on improving relationships, expanding networks, and encouraging teamwork at the office.

“Women also value email for a kind of positive, water-cooler effect, which lightens the atmosphere of office life,” reads the 54-page report.

The report found that women are more likely to use the Internet for emailing, getting maps and directions (after all, we men always know where we’re going), looking for health and medical information, seeking support for health and personal problems, and getting religious information.

Men tend to be more intense Internet users than women, being more likely to go online daily (61% of men and 57% of women) and more likely to go online several times a day (44% of men and 39% of women).
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